It's Hard to Look Classy Sometimes, Kids...

AF has just discovered something, darlings...there are a few foods which one should only consume among close friends.  Not acquaintances, and definitely not around a new date (although if you're just not that into him, by all means, chow down!)

During a visit to my favorite tapas restaurant ever, I tried to enjoy the delicious, marinated Spanish olives offered up as a pre-tapas tapa (an appetizer to the appetizer, you could say). 

Much to my chagrin, the olives had pits. Pits, I tell you!  And there is no way to gracefully eat an olive with a pit in it (Why, oh why did I have to sit in the direct sight line of the rather nice-looking maitre d'?).

But you know what you do then?  Place the pit in the designated pit bowl, smile cheerily, and have a nice sip of your beverage before rejoining your group's conversation.  Ahh, much better.  And smile.

Now, pitty olives are not the only problem food.  Ever tried eating a maki roll?  Those Japanese sushi things with the sticky rice and the seaweed?  Yeah, it's kinda tough to maneuver...

You have two options: You can bite the roll in half and end up with rice (and in all likelihood wasabi and some sort of seafood and soy sauce) all down the front of you, or you can jam the whole blessed thing into your mouth.  The second option is not recommended, but quite honestly you'll either end up looking like a slob or a chipmunk.  Your choice.

Save sushi-eating for when you're among old friends who've already had the opportunity to mercilessly make fun of you.  Or for when you're with your family and all you'll have to endure is your mother saying, 'Why do you always miss your mouth when you eat?' 

That's much better than facing someone important like a boss or a boyfriend giving you that oh-my-lord-she-just-stuffed-a-whole-maki-roll-in-her-mouth look (it sort of resembles this: o.O).  Oh, and if you're a guy, it isn't going to be very flattering either.  I can only speak from my own experience, but I'd be a little grossed out. Just saying.

So dearie darlings, enjoy your messy, pitty foods.  Just don't enjoy them in front of someone that's not too familiar with you, or they may never be familiar with you.

Ta-ta for now!

~AF