Apples, Brie, and Belly on a Burger...Why I Wasn't Quite Wowed

I never thought I would say this.  I tried pork belly today.  And it didn't impress me.  In fact, I didn't really like it.

I know!  It's so wrong.  But you need to understand a little something.  Well a lot of something.  Let me give you the back story.

A long time ago, in a land far, far away, a foodie felt like crying when she tried to eat her meal...

Hah!  I really had you going there for a moment didn't I?  To be honest, my pork belly experience wasn't all bad.  We were at one of my favorite local, suburban biker bars (yes, dearies, a biker bar), a place in Naperville called Jimmy's.  We'd just finished our crunchy, beer-battered onion rings (they're not listed on the menu anymore, for whatever reason...just ask for them. They are so good).

I looked at the menu, and for the first time, I saw a burger called the Marie Antoinette.  You have to understand, I've had burgers at Jimmy's before.  So many are awesome.  Sturdily built and bursting with flavor, each burger has to be served with a dagger in it to keep it from toppling over (by dagger, I mean a steak knife used like a toothpick.  Just as useful, only far more intimidating).  They used to have a bourbon burger with sauteed mushrooms.  Their Blue Horse is topped with horseradish, pungent bleu cheese, and onion straws.  And my dad ate their monthly special, a Guacamole Bacon burger with a real kick.

The Marie Antoinette, in all her glory, with fries and a pickle on the side.

But enough about that.  Back to my meal.  The Marie is comprised of a hefty beef burger, served on a hearty-yet-pillowy bun (one that won't break your teeth, but that also won't disintegrate when you put a sopping, freshly-made burger on it) and topped with rich, buttery brie cheese (love!), incredibly flavorful caramelized apple slices (delightful!), and...mushy pork belly (wah-wah).

Maybe my lack of pork belly experience led to my dislike, but from what I understand, a good belly preparation renders out the copious amounts of fat that the cut of meat contains, and leaves the slab with a delectable seared crust on the outside. 

The belly on the Marie (I've just realized how strange that sounds...but bear with me) was cut like thick-cut bacon.  It was fatty...like, really fatty; you could probably take a butter knife and spread it across the bun like mayonnaise.  There may have been a little sear around the perimeter of the meat at one time, but being sandwiched between a hot, juicy burger and moist, buttery brie likely zapped any crust that the pork had.  What little meat I could dig out from amongst the fat (it really felt like spelunking. No joke) was soft and lovely, but the need to dig so much just made it a little disappointing.

I wanted my pork belly crisp!  I wanted it seared!  Maybe I really just wanted bacon instead...when you think about it, that's really all pork belly is.  Bacon is smoked, cured pork belly.  They are just about  one and the same.  And bacon would add a textural element that the burger was just dying for.  Soft apples, soft cheese, soft burger, soft pork...see anything missing?  I need crunch!  Don't deny me that, Jimmy!

A pork belly confit seared in a hot pan until golden and glorious might be a little much to ask for a biker burger bar.  But in my defense, they're the ones who decided to tackle the fancy-schmancy food.  And they didn't do too bad.  The only thing that went downhill on this burger was the meat garnish.  I know for next time to ask for a little meat candy (that being bacon...get with it, kids!) instead of the belly.

Maybe someday I'll embrace the pork belly...just not today, and not soggy on a burger.  I do not like it, Sam I Am.

~AF